cthulhu-with-a-fez it igotcthulhu DI An Incomplete List of Notable People I Delivered Pizza To... shinxy-in-wonderland: tybaar. It's coming up on a year now since got my current job as pizza delivery girl, and thought this would be good time to delve into the little ever- expanding 'WTFPIZZA" note keep cell that helps me remember some more, uh - interesting deliveres. So without further ado in no particular order, here's customers who left lasting impression thus far. -A bearded man answered door periodically spat blood crusted Harley Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash. A woman slipped business card (in lieu tip) for laser tattoo removal clinic, explaining In case you want bring your mutilated skin back how God intended be. At least three Batmans so far, but only one did voice. -An elderty Spanish meekly presented with (rather classy) pearl-handled 32 snub nosed revolver asked if knew load (I do) also, could her didn't). group EMTs hanging an ambulance at recently extinguished (but still smouldering) house fire. thick Alabama accent admonished standing front mailbox waited him answer door. He then explained was federal offense because *obstructing mail system' demanded social security number he 'report proper authorities". young teenage girls (like 14-16) begged buy Bud Light (ew why) them. hotel room full badass middle-aged women all dressed Professor McGonagall from Harry Potter films, were also completely wasted Jello shots. They kept encouraging stay party 20-something dude unsheathed katana dangling through belt loop jeans. Multiple instances people asking sell them pot. ( get own dealer sheesh) guy twenty directly shirt apparently "spitting image" deceased daughter. driving Mazda, wrote 'get real car" tip portion credit receipt. very drunk gave iPhone had take bunch Myspace-esque pictures both us. duck lips thing every shot. prank deliveries joke's , paid gas AND eat pizzas ordered) ' OFF' signature thirty-something order free works hard". visibly teared sniffled when told couldn't do anything. dudebro wearing bath robe socks + sandals (indoors) straight wordlessty yanked hands paying shut knockings avail. angrily see ID she refused believe claims I'm female. She proceeded driver's license hand, run show children pointing me. kid older than 14 desperately tried convince play WoW custom server playing on. (But has double XPI) spent entire there digging (impressively large) booger nose. smear on, thankfully, HIS copy on-duty cop flagged down by intercepting road before police station pulling over pizza. drill instructor looking-guy filled receipt, specifically 0.00 portion, write check seventy eight cents handed It said 'pizza tip" "For section. furious lady yelled solid five minutes track) about long took her. tipped extra ten bucks six dollar order. dunno. incredibly stoned teenager trying failing look sober. When complimented Adventure Time wallet (which super cute where it, immediately looked terrified, sat floor muttered 1... don't know. Obligatory naked unimpressive chick tumed vomit mailbox. surly Korean mom amazing shoulder baby giving birth full-grown woman. lived those mini-mansions inside gated community, sported seemingly massive collection what appeared glass spheres varying size color. quick glance hundreds display racks, tables, shelves everywhere guys challenged sing original Pokemon theme song, which did. And perfectly, may add iced-out musclebound gangster blaring Regina Spektor loud much bass actually hear anything saying. deadpan anyone score hollowpoint bullets. adorable lesbian couple mortified they didn't have any money tip, big sack pistachios instead. weeks finish bag. worth reading Source: tybaar #story 219,895 notes