Redditor Chooses Not To Attend Friend's Wedding Because His Wife Was Not Invited

Growing up, friendships evolve and shift as people navigate different life stages. During the carefree years of adolescence, friendships are often characterized by shared experiences, laughter, and endless hours spent together.

However, as friends step into adulthood, their paths can diverge. Careers, relationships, families - these elements of adult life can create a chasm between old friends, a space filled with unspoken words, unshared experiences, and changes that go unacknowledged.

The story of OP, a 25-year-old man, and his best friend from college offers a poignant illustration of this often painful aspect of maturing friendships. OP is facing a dilemma concerning his best friend's wedding.

Last year, he and his wife got married at a courthouse, intending to host a more celebratory event later. Now, with his friend's wedding in June and his own planned for November, a conflict arises when his friend doesn't extend the wedding invitation to OP's wife, citing space constraints at the venue.

OP originally decided not to attend the wedding as he and his wife considered themselves a unit, always attending events together. When OP expressed his decision, his friend lashed out at him, accusing him of being uncaring and co-dependent.

Under pressure and feeling guilty, OP, after consulting his wife, decided to attend the wedding alone. However, OP is now contemplating reneging on his agreement to attend, feeling that his friend should understand his decision as they both had to deal with guest limitations for their weddings.

OP asks:

OP,is facing a dilemma concerning his best friend's wedding.

His friend's wedding in June and his own planned for November, a conflict arises when his friend doesn't extend the wedding invitation to OP's wife

OP originally decided not to attend the wedding

Another layer to the issue is the contrast in their lifestyles

OP posted an edit:

Another layer to the issue is the contrast in their lifestyles: OP is a responsible government controls engineer deeply invested in a time-consuming project, a husband, and a father of two, while his friend still enjoys a bachelor lifestyle.

OP admits that he doesn't interact as much as he used to with his friend, which may contribute to his friend feeling neglected.

He is now questioning whether he was in the wrong for initially refusing to attend the wedding without his wife and is considering withdrawing his later agreement to attend solo.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

All actions come with consequences

The deadline is the deadline

"People are free to invite whomever they want to their weddings, but..."

This Redditor can relate:

This “friendship” has expired

They have obviously grown apart

Why did OP wait until the very last second to say anything?

Different people have different priorities.

Throwing judgmental terms makes OP the a-hole

Others agree:

OP already knew he wouldn't go without his wife.

This Redditor is right :

Things should've been discussed earlier

OP is being passive aggressive

OP posted a final update, and the friendship is now terminated